Monday, October 1, 2012

October Goals

I haven't been very happy lately. It occurred to me that I have not been setting tangible goals for myself. So I plan on setting goals here every month, cause if I just write them on a piece of paper, it will get lost, and I will be kind of what ever about it. I can also log my progress, and maybe inspire some goal setting for you in your life. October Goals 1. To cut down to half a pack of cigarettes a day. 2. Eat more fruits and vegetables, and regular meals at regular times. 3. Go for three walks a week. I think this is a good start. Maybe three goals a month is good, that's manageable. What will your goals for this month be? I think its good to have something to work towards and get a feeling of accomplishment about, rather than just simply existing.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Lessons Learned

If you want to do or be something in life, you don’t need to become it.
It’s ok to remain who you intrinsically are and to incorporate
the different facets of your dreams and wants into your self.
Foundation is important, experiencing things is just that,
experiencing them, not putting pressure on yourself to become them.

Everything is temporary. We do not need to obsessively plan
or brew on things. Take one thing at a time and tackle it
and be done with it. Even dreams are temporary, we want
we dream, we strive, we achieve, we experience and decide
if this is something we want to embrace for the
long term or the short term. The important thing is
being able to tell yourself in hindsight, I did that, I experienced
that in this lifetime, let me tell you a story or two about

If you are a dreamer, a creator, a creature of wonder,
there will always be what’s next. Some divine inspiration,
some yearning in your heart and soul. There will
be a new sea to sail, a new mountain to climb,
a new sensation, a new feeling. Life is the instrument
our soul breaths through, expresses and creates through.

If people didn’t do things because they were nervous
and afraid, nothing would be done on this earth.
We would all be a bunch of afraid, whiny,
boring people, waiting for life to run out.
It’s good to inch out of your comfort zone,
it builds confidence, it brings new experiences,
adventures! And the nervousness is temporary,
it will not last forever, only a moment
in the scope of our lives.

I’m learning to live within my means,
If I am shy I am shy. If my head shakes
when I first walk into a room of people,
my head shakes, if I’m quiet, I’m quiet,
if I don’t think a joke is funny, no more
fake smiles for me. I don’t play the game
anymore. I’m not a circus monkey. I come off
so retarded and embarrassed, when I am NOT
being me. I feel much more at peace when
I accept myself as who I am and act accordingly
Being genuine is a valuable thing.
Where would the world be if
everyone was pretending to be someone
they are not. We need all of us to be the way
we are. I’m not sure why this is, I just know
that it is important.


Monday, February 27, 2012


Did you know...that Herb Alpert is shy? That he is also a painter and a sculptor? I've heard of Herb before, I even remember seeing his 'Whipped Cream' album in my parents music collection, but I never really gave his music a second thought. Now, I dig it. And I dig that he's shy, and I dig that he has the same birthday as me.

From a 1995 Interview in The New York Times:
"Asked about his shyness, Mr. Alpert answers in a soft, uninflected voice: "I never know what to say. Small talk makes me uncomfortable. It's not a need of mine to be stroked and doing an interview -- this is very hard for me -- means talking about the past, which is not of interest."

From another interview:
"Alpert is all about art, all the time. Yet as he goes about his business, he betrays no sense of pressure or anxiety. “For me,” he says upon emerging from the studio, “the important thing is not to think or analyze but to accept my own creativity. I’m looking for things that resonate more in the soul than in the eyes."

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I am one of the lucky ones
asking the questions
seeking the answers
feeling grateful
I have been spared
when I ask why?
I feel it is because
I took a chance
on myself, life, nature
all three of these
have not brought
I am one of the lucky ones
who gets to do it here
in this body
what a gift
I feel somehow
ahead of the game
there is no greater miracle
than man
transforming his life


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

What Do You Want To Be?

It’s hard to know what our purpose is in this life. Sometimes we have grandiose thoughts and themes of what we are destined to be, how we are to help and make a meteor sized impact upon this world. But we forget, there are quiet ways. There are plans we do not know. And perhaps how we surrender to those plans and accept not knowing how everything will play out at the moment, is part of our purpose. Others....may be watching. We may not be destined to be, Mother Teresa’s, or in the Peace Corps feeding the hungry of the world. I would say maybe, but no, I am beginning to be sure, that for some of us, or maybe even most of us, God whispers a message through our experiences, our dreams and hopes, our achievements and failures, he whispers them through our lives to the ears, senses and hearts of those who may need to hear, and in turn, their lives also offer each of us something we need.

Who knows the small ripple effect that molds the sand just so on the shore, or what that ripple washes up for ourselves or someone else to find. It’s all a wonderful mystery, and if we can only have the courage to hoist our sails to the direction our personal wind is blowing, that small divine knowing, and sit back and enjoy the ride, until the next wind may tell us to change direction, life could be a wonderful adventure, filled with moments of surrender and rest. Today his voice asked, will you just listen for a moment, you are precious to me, remember you are precious and act and feel just so. Just do, the next best thing, next best things add up, the rest will take care of itself.


Monday, January 30, 2012

What...are you EXPECTING? like a laboratory, that's laboratory, not lavatory~though at times life can feel like that too. We conduct experiments, in relationships, spirituality, with God, Science, human nature, ourselves.

Recently the subject of expecting has come up. Someone dear, stopped by my office last week, and said that she is expecting good things to happen in a situation she was talking about, because we need to expect the best. This subject spontaneously came up from different sources two other times in the same week. Messages tend to happen in threes in my life.

This is opposite from my belief of many years, the old adage that "expectations are planned disappointments", that if you expect the worst then you will not be disappointed. Wow, what a shitty way to live!

If I think of a situation and expect to get fucked over, to expect it to go wrong, am I in a way, helping to bring that into fruition? And while I am thinking those things, I am feeling pretty shitty to.

Now if I focus on expecting the best, on positive outcomes, solutions, happiness and fulfillment, whether or not I am specifically thinking about how these will come about, or leaving the details in the hands of God, I am in a positive state of mind and experience a sense of relief and happiness while I am thinking these things into being, even before they have happened. Much better way to live, don't you think?

Let's try this in our laboratory as an experiment. I have read that this is like faith in action, what we expect. I expect good results!


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A Dream Come True

I have been waiting a long time to have a space to do my art journaling, painting etc. I went to IKEA this weekend and got this new desk. It's perfect. Just enough room to write, use my computer and do lots of art without having to fumble around for space or supplies.

I plan to do a lot more organizing of this space, but so far it's great. This is the nicest piece of furniture I have ever bought myself. And, it was only $60.00~thank you IKEA!

Spooky seems to like it too. Once again she is the perfect addition to anything good in my life. There is something so comforting about having a little whiskered cat friend that you love so much lounging around with you as you do things that are comforting. It ups the comfort level. I'm very happy. So far I've achieved one of the things I wanted to do this year, and it's only the second week of January! And I get to be a lot more creative with this space. It will be an ongoing project to look forward to and enjoy.


Saturday, January 7, 2012

What's Cooking?

It's been a while since I've dedicated myself to cooking. As of late I have been practicing again. I made a 15 minute stew last weekend. It didn't turn out great, but I tried. It's a good start, thoughts of how I can improve upon it run through my head. It's kind of like life, I have to get used to the basics before I start screwing with and embellishing on things.

Last night I made some chicken and egg noodle soup (from a can), but added frozen Trader Joes pot stickers. I gave it plenty of time to cook and took care with it even though it was not all homemade. It was delicious, better than the stew.

Tonight, not feeling so well, and needing some comfort and simple food, I pulled out my copy of The Joy of Cooking my sister gave me years ago and looked up how to bake a potato. I threw a few in the oven, and waited patiently. When they came out and I split one open, I was reaching for the cheddar cheese processed popcorn sprinkles as a topping, but at second thought, I opted for just butter, salt and pepper. It was delicious.

Simple is better, natural is better. I find that when I take the time to cook something, I respect food more. The time and effort that goes into growing it, shipping it, the blessing of having something to eat when others don't. I savor each bite more, and know that it is nourishing my body, not just filling my belly. I also find that when I'm cooking, my mind is void of all else, any problems, obsessive thoughts, etc. I am able to stay in the moment and create something good.