Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Peeling It Back

....there are growth spurts in sobriety. I am going through one. Everyone has a limit. It's a new year. I'm embarrassed when I awake to find that I still have problems I was dealing with years ago, even a year ago before I got sober. I care more who I surround myself with. I find now that I would rather be alone, than have friendships or relationships that are not only less than one deserves, but disrupt the peace in my life. My peace is valuable now. I guard it, I work for it, it can mean the difference between two paths for me. It's time to cultivate better relationships, associations and friendships. It's time to be patient until that happens. My people are out there. They are like me. Trying to live daily for a better life, to be a better person. Working at it. Why settle any longer. I do not settle in life anymore. I deserve better than this. It's time for some peace. It's time for positive places, people and things.

It does not matter to me who is right, who is wrong. If I understand you or you understand me. I just want peace. Better to just leave some things well enough alone.

“He keeps his road well enough who gets rid of bad company”
Proverb quotes

“Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”
George Washington

Thursday, December 22, 2011

My List

There are things that make me feel better. If I tell myself them enough, I feel like a new person.

1. everything happens for a reason. we may never know why until further down the line, or even during this lifetime. but there is a reason.

2. you can't control other people.

3. sometimes you have to love people from a distance to maintain your own quality of life.

4. everything passes.

5. most of the time it is we who make ourselves crazy, or allow others to affect us to that level (see #3)

6. there is always a way out and a solution.

7. you are allowed to change your mind at any time.

8. don't just accept yourself the way you are, relish in it, embrace and use it.

9. we all have our own purposes and places in life, I don't have to or want to do yours, you don't have to or want to do mine.

10. when things get too overwhelming it always helps to give them to God, as many times as you need to each day.

11. short, find your happiness, and your peaceful place and don't ever let anyone take that from you.

that's it for now.


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The March of Time

Let us honor
the marching of the times
autumn came and went
with beautiful smokey music
deep colors and warm scents
hearts at rest breathing deeply
in the decay of the old
the blank slate of the trees
the quietness to come

with her billowing
cold, snows and wind
a million lights upon the earth
a million fires within the hearts
of men and women
a quiet time to
for listening, remembering

The Spring will come
with cool breezes
fresh grass
and easy afternoons
slowly warming the earth
and our hearts
back to life
it is louder
it is gentler
it is the neutral time

with her juicy melons
sandy beaches
sometimes scorching heat
a time to hold on
or a time to run wild
and to rest
and to laze about
with her sounds of water
as the sun crackles and spews
from above

The times march on
there will always be more
and never less
If there is no more
there will still be


Friday, December 9, 2011

Christmas With You

Christmas is decorated at my place
this year there is simplicity
in what was put out
crystal glass candle holders
each unique that were received
as gifts by two very special people

Selected ornaments from my youth
wonderful Wintery scents
just enough sparkling white lights
just enough nostalgia and glitter

Each piece placed with thought and care
nothing complicated
nothing un-enjoyed in the doing
nothing silly
it is just enough

My memories fade this year
of Christmases past
and I relish this very year
season and life
I have with you

This is our home
this is our cat
these are our decorations now
this is my heart
this is your heart
all sparkling and beautiful
just enough

"My beloved child, break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart.
You stop feeding on love which is the wellspring of your vitality."

"The time has come,
Your time to live.
To celebrate and see the goodness that you are."

"You, my child, are divine.
You are pure.
You are sublimely free.
You are God in disguise and you are always perfectly safe."

"Do not fight the dark,
Just turn on the light.
Let go and breathe into the goodness that you are."
~by Swami Kripalvanandji